Our Children Change Us

Paul's tribute to his son:

"And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
But I don’t know how
Because maybe
You’re gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You’re my wonderwall

-Wonderwall by Noel Gallagher

Wonderwall is a lyrically fantastic, hauntingly sung song. I’m sure the lyrics above resonate with many people and for differing reasons.


When I hear Wonderwall on the radio I think of the current journey I’m on and the most influential person in shaping my life.

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding

I never signed up for having an autistic child. I thought I signed up for a straight line path through life. Obviously, that isn’t the case. Lacking control and knowledge of the future has rocked me to the core, but has provided a real kick in the pants wake up call to live life. The unknown brings exciting potential, but also has anxiety riddled possibilities. I need to accept the unknown and do my best in the now to help my son. The now matters, the future will take care of itself.

There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
But I don’t know how

No single person has taught me more about life than my son. I don’t know if many 7 year olds hold this type of impact on their fathers. He has taught me (or maybe more correctly exposed my shortcomings) about faith, unconditional love, responsibility, critical thinking, friendship and patience. He holds the sweetest spirit and beautifully pure naive view of life.

It is doubtful that I’ll ever be able to adequately express my feelings to my son. I’m not sure how much understanding he will have about this part of his life or what lies ahead for him going forward. I have to accept doing my best for him and trying to minimize my failings of him.

Because maybe
You’re gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You’re my wonderwall"