December 7, 2009

The Story of Trudy Steuernagel and Her Death at the Hand of Her Son Sky Walker, Who Loved Her

Many thanks to Joanna Conners for her thoughtful and heart wrenching telling of the Sky Walker story. She has answered many pressing questions that our community had about the death of his mother Trudy Steuernagel at his hand and what has happened to him since.

At hearing bits and pieces about his treatment, we have been angry at what seemed to be callous treatment at the hands of authorities, but seems that they were doing the best they could given the circumstances and the limited options for children like Sky. It highlights the question, if a proper placement for Sky, which was the daily priority of the police department for the two months he was with them, could not be found, with all the resources at their disposal, what choices do families with children like Sky have now?

And what will it look like when the Autism Tsunami hits? Sky was born in 1990, a year or so before the swell began.

From the descriptions of his food obsessions and Sky's diet, MacDonalds and ice cream every night, goldfish crackers to sooth his aggression, it is clear that he was not on any biomed protocol, and probably needed to be. (Chandler's one and only aggressive outburst was when he was 2 and we had put him back on gluten for a month to see if he could handle it... no dice. He viciously bit another child. None what so ever in the five years since then.) When doctors like the much derided Max Wiznitzer, who was interviewed in this article, poo poo dietary intervention for lack of large epidemiological studies as proof of efficacy, does he even realize that he is likely channeling children into a life of violence and disconnection from the world like Sky Walker? Does his ego even let him entertain the idea that reams of documentation on GI disorders in children with autistic symptoms and clinical examples of behavioral improvements on dietary intervention might make it a really, really bad idea to feed crap to violent children like Sky? Doesn't seem to be the case.

I am reposting the article in its entirety, to ensure that it does not drop off the web. This is an article that every one of us needs to read. It is a very hard read, and I had to take several cry breaks to get through it, so be forewarned. But read it.

And if anyone ever, ever says to me that I need to look at autism as a blessing, or focus on the bright side, or that medical treatment for some strange reason means I don't accept or love my child for who he is, I will simply refer them to this post.

For Ashley Brock, Elias Tembennis, Sky Walker and his loving and dedicated mother, Trudy Steuernagel, autism was a deadly disease. And now as well for James Delorey. Sky clearly loved his mother, and still does, yet his love still could not stop him from killing her.

And distressingly, Trudy saw her own murder likely coming, and wrote to defend her son in case it happened.

Kent State professor Trudy Steuernagel's fierce protection of her autistic son, Sky Walker, costs her life: Sheltering Sky
By Joanna Connors, The Plain Dealer
December 06, 2009, 8:42AM

"To Whom it May Concern: If this letter has been opened and is being read, it is because I have been seriously injured or killed by my son, Sky Walker."

No one knows for sure when Trudy Steuernagel wrote that letter.

She read it to her ex-husband, Scott Walker, in the spring of 2008, when their autistic son, Sky, had grown so violent she sometimes had to barricade herself in a closet.

By then, Trudy's life had begun to feel a lot like that closet. Small. Dark. Isolated. Her ex-husband was gone, living in Wisconsin with his new wife and stepson. Many of her friends were gone, too, lost to the demands she faced caring for Sky.

Sky remained. But in a way, Sky was gone, too. Over the years, he had slipped away from her, retreating into the shadows of autism. The smart little boy who stole hearts with his smiles and hugs had disappeared. Left behind was a 200-pound teenager who overwhelmed her with his constant needs and his unpredictable, terrible anger.

Trudy spent her days teaching political science at Kent State University, where she was a popular professor. She went home to Sky and long evenings of his ever more rigid routines, girding herself for his next meltdown, and hoping the next medication would bring Sky back.

That spring, as Sky's violence increased, Trudy told Scott she had locked the letter in her home safe, in case the worst happened. Less than a year later, it did.

On Jan. 29, 2009, sheriff's deputies found Trudy on the floor of her kitchen, unconscious and struggling to breathe. They found Sky in the basement, blood on his pajamas and feet.

The next day, Trudy's brother, Bill Steuernagel, found the safe in Trudy's closet. The letter, a single folded page, loose in the pile of papers inside, would have been easy to overlook. Trudy's words were not. Shot through with sorrow and regret, they bore witness to her fierce love for her child.

Trudy Steuernagel died eight days after the beating, at age 60.

Sky, legally an adult at 18 but functionally a child, was charged with her murder and held at Portage County Jail while lawyers, social service agencies and the court tried to figure out what to do with him.

As the months went on, the story of the profoundly disabled son who unintentionally killed his mother unfolded like a Greek tragedy. Sky's life and Trudy's death exposed some of the darkest mysteries of autism - from the puzzle of why a smart, capable woman sacrificed her own safety to keep her son at home to the larger legal and social issues presented by the perplexing, often hidden strain of violence in a neurological disorder that, more than 60 years after it was first described, continues to confound scientists.



"The nursery is finally finished. Today, Nov. 9, 1990, was supposed to be your birthday. Where are you, Sky Abbott Walker? About your name. We both wanted a gender neutral name. Pater loves all things to do with flying and I like nature names. I hope you like it, Sky." - Trudy Steuernagel, in Sky Walker's Baby Book

Sky Abbott Walker was born Nov. 15, 1990. Trudy was 42 and smitten. She had been married just a year to Scott Walker, a former student of hers who was nine years younger.

Scott remembers Trudy showing off her smiling, blue-eyed boy, who flirted with strangers and hit developmental marks ahead of the curve. He walked at 9 months, and at 10 months he spoke individual words, knew the alphabet and could read letters. Before his first birthday, he learned numbers and could add, subtract and count. But then he stopped. At 18 months, he still did not put two words together, and by 24 months, he had stopped acquiring new words. When a doctor told Trudy and Scott that their son might have autism, they disagreed. Didn't autism mean a lack of emotion and a resistance to touching? That was not Sky.

"He loved to hug not only his mom and me but his toddler friends and teachers," Scott Walker remembers. "So we said, 'There's no failure to form attachments, he's doing well.'"

By the time he was 3, they stopped fighting the diagnosis. Sky was still not speaking in phrases or sentences, and he was losing words at a steady pace. His early strides with reading letters and numbers turned out to be hyperlexia -- a red flag for autism.

"Except for the speech delay, you would never have suspected he had autism," Scott says. "It was easier to explain his poor performance on tests by saying he was autistic. We felt he was clearly intelligent. He just had no interest in demonstrating for adults what he knew or could do."

If Trudy grieved or felt frightened for Sky, she did not show it. The Internet was still primitive at the time, but she joined autism mailing lists and searched for resources and services.

She also became more protective. After the diagnosis, Scott noticed that Trudy turned inward with Sky; where she once carried him facing out to the wide world, she now held him facing her heart.

Scott and Trudy enrolled him in Kent's special-needs preschool when he turned 4. At the end of that year, his teacher reported that he showed many of the signs of autism: His play was solitary, his speech delayed, and he avoided eye contact. She also noted that he had a problem with aggression but was learning to handle his frustration. Trudy and Scott worried anew. Was aggression another symptom of autism? Or was it just a symptom of childhood? Why was the sweet boy who once hugged everyone now hitting?

Frustration and aggression

Information on rates of aggressive behavior in people with autism is scarce and inconclusive. A roundup of autism research published last month in the British medical journal The Lancet cited a 2008 study that found "disruptive, irritable or aggressive behavior" in 8 percent to 32 percent of children with autism. It did not explain the wide statistical spread, nor did it offer comparison figures for children without autism.

Doctors and teachers in Cleveland who deal with autism begin discussions of aggression with a caveat: Autism does not automatically lead to aggression. No one wants autistic people to suffer the sort of horror-movie stigma that has plagued the mentally ill for so long. But they do not deny the aggressive tendency exists.

"Aggression has always been part of autism," said Leslie Sinclair, the head of the Cleveland Clinic's Lerner School for Autism. "Not in all [autistic] children, of course."

Dr. Max Wiznitzer, a pediatric neurologist and director of the Rainbow Autism Center at University Hospitals, says there are many reasons for the aggression.

"They might also have anxiety disorders, attention deficit hyperactive disorder, mood disorders, cognitive impairment," he says.

Sinclair and others return inexorably to the frustrations that emerge not just from the struggle to speak, but also from overwhelming sensory stimulation and the need to adhere to set rituals and routines. For some children with autism, even a tiny deviation can lead to a violent episode.

"It is never malicious," she says.

Scott Walker tells this story about Sky to describe his frustrations. He was 5 or 6 and playing alone, in another room, when Trudy and Scott heard a big bang, like something had fallen or broken. They found Sky sobbing uncontrollably.

"What happened, Sky?" They asked. "What's wrong?"

Sky sobbed and heaved, struggling to speak. Finally he managed to say:

"I. Don't. Have. Words."

They never did figure out what had made the noise.

Behavior becomes disruptive

As Sky made his way through the elementary years, Trudy and Scott battled the Kent public school system to get the services he needed and to keep him in mainstream classes, where they felt he did better academically and socially. But to remain there, he required a full-time aide.

"It was adversarial," Scott says. "They were professionals. But they were also fully cognizant that we were asking them to dig deep in their budget for our son. There was always a sense of, 'Gosh, what if there were 10 other autistic kids wanting these services, too?'"

Soon enough there were, and more. In 1994-95, just after Sky was diagnosed, Ohio reported fewer than 100 cases of autism out of almost 1.8 million students. Last year, Ohio reported 12,640 cases out of 1.9 million students.

The Kent City Schools superintendent, Joseph Giancola, declined to talk about Sky, citing confidentiality laws. But voluminous school records in the Portage County prosecutor's files include positive reports from elementary school, when he spent part of the day mainstreamed with an aide.
Around the Web

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention National Center on Birth Defects and Developmental Disabilities

Autism Society of America,

Autism Society of Ohio,

Cure Autism Now,

National Institute of Child Health & Human Development

Cleveland Clinic Center for Autism,

University Hospitals Autism Center,

In first grade, his teachers wrote: "Sky is very sweet and has a nice sense of humor." In third grade, his special-education teachers wrote: "What a joy it has been to be Sky's teachers for 3 wonderful years!"

As he grew older, and his life at home changed, behavior problems entered the picture.

A move from mainstream

Trudy and Scott separated when Sky was 9. Scott did not want to talk about the reasons for the separation, but he did say Sky was not one of them. "I'm sure our disagreements over him were an added stress, though," he says.

That year, Scott moved to Cleveland to start medical school at Case Western Reserve University. He says he saw Sky three times a week, at home in Kent and when Trudy brought him to Cleveland.

He knew Sky missed him. "To the extent that Sky could choose things to talk about, what he would talk about was the next time he would see me," Scott says.

When Sky was 10, a teacher's assessment found him "severely autistic." He avoided eye contact, followed ritualistic patterns, spoke in stressful situations with meaningless one- or two-word phrases ("tater tots," "top grunge"), splayed his hands close to his face and rocked with exaggerated rhythms.

He also angered easily. "When forced to look or interact, [he] may become agitated, cry or have a temper tantrum," the teacher wrote. "Reaction to pain such as a fall or bump of elbow is extreme anger. Reaction to change [in routine] can be extreme with excessive tantrums."

Sky had tantrums with his parents, too. "They were very few in number, but they were very disruptive and certainly caught our attention," Scott says. "Because he was smaller, we weren't afraid of escalation. We used some physical restraint until we were at a safe place."

Puberty often brings a spike in aggression, particularly with boys, who account for three out of four autism diagnoses. Sky was no different. At the beginning of seventh grade, when he was 13, the school removed him from mainstream classes.

"Sky has continued to make progress in the academic realm," his teacher reported, "but has started to have difficulty with appropriate school behavior."

In October of 2003, his aggression became such a problem that the school decided to send him home two hours early every day. Trudy went on part-time leave from KSU; Sky did not return to school full time until the middle of April.

That school year, Irene Barnett, one of Trudy's closest friends, found out that Sky was hurting his mother.

"Trudy forbade me to say anything," Barnett says. "I knew that if I had not respected her wishes, that would have been the end of our friendship. Her loyalty was 100 percent to Sky."

Trudy told Barnett that Sky was getting good medical care and his doctor was trying new psychoactive medications. Using medication to control aggression in autistic patients is a common practice, says Sinclair of the Cleveland Clinic's autism school.

"Some of our kids can be very obsessive compulsive, which is evidenced in rigid adherence to routines," she says. "And [if] you interrupt that, they can become aggressive. If we can target that behavior with a particular medication that takes the edge off the need to fulfill these routines, then aggression comes down."

Health privacy laws prevent authorities from saying which drugs were ordered for Sky, but photographs in the sheriff's investigative files show medicine cabinets and kitchen shelves in the home laden with bottles of prescription antidepressants, anti-anxiety drugs and tranquilizers.

"Trudy believed that eventually they would get the right cocktail, and his hormones would stop surging, and it would take care of the aggression," Barnett says. "She did not want him in any institution. She said there was a lot of abuse in institutions, and because Sky was not verbal he could be easily victimized."

At about this time, Scott remembers, he began urging Trudy to consider a residential placement. "That was a real conversation stopper," he says.

Experience led to apprehension

Bill Steuernagel thinks Trudy formed her negative view of institutions working at Ebensburg State School and Hospital in Pennsylvania, an institution for children then diagnosed as "hyperactive mentally retarded [and] trainable." Their father, William Steuernagel, was an administrator, and all three of his children - Marybeth, Trudy and Bill - had summer jobs there as teenagers in the 1960s.

"We took care of the patients, took them out for walks, to the pool," says Bill. "A lot of them were drugged. They were considered mentally retarded, but I'm sure some of those kids were autistic."

Autism was first recognized as a distinct disorder in 1943, but it took decades to emerge as a standard diagnosis. It did not enter the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the standard for psychiatric diagnosis in America, until 1980.

"Back then, if you had a child and you couldn't take care of him, you'd put him in a state home," Bill says, referring to the 1960s and Ebensburg. "My sister cringed at that."
Disney.jpgTrudy Steuernagel wrote about her life with her autistic son, Sky Walker, in several essays and letters. The audio excerpts here were narrated by Plain Dealer Features Editor Debbie Van Tassell.

AUDIO

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The truth comes out

In 2004, Scott Walker moved to a small town in Wisconsin for his residency in family medicine. Sky was 14. Two years later, Scott and Trudy divorced.

They maintained joint custody; Sky spent five weeks every summer with Scott and visited some weekends. The rest of the year, Trudy was alone with Sky.

"Trudy was now a single parent of a child with significant needs," Barnett says. "But she was not a complainer. She always used to say, 'You know, you deal with it.'"

Trudy dealt with it by complying with Sky's elaborate system of rituals, which ruled their days from the time she woke up until Sky went to bed. Trudy usually slept for about four hours, then got up to exercise. Sky woke, took the sheets and blankets off both their beds, piled them on the floor, and crawled in to sleep.

He always dressed in the same outfit: blue T-shirt, dark blue shorts, sneakers. Trudy ordered them in multiples from Lands' End. The outfit made him look like a 6-year-old with a man's body, a visual metaphor for the childish tantrums that turned dangerous when he grew to over 6 feet tall and 200 pounds.

He loved children's food, too. After school, they always drove 20 miles to the same McDonald's, where Sky ordered a Happy Meal of Chicken McNuggets and fries, followed by a vanilla ice cream cone. Then they crossed the street to Arby's where he ate another meal of chicken and fries. When they got home, he watched "The Price Is Right" over and over again.

Every night, he tore paper into confetti and scattered it around the house. Before he went to bed, he got his medicine and an M&M ice cream cone.

He said certain phrases when he felt agitated, like "Ride the roller coaster" and "Wheels on the bus." Trudy responded by sending him to his safe room in the basement, a small room crammed with unused games, a foosball table and Trudy's exercise bike and mini-trampoline. In the middle of the clutter, Sky would lie on his mattress and calm himself with his comfort foods, barbecue potato chips and Goldfish crackers.

If Trudy caught the signs too late and the agitation escalated, she calmed him with a warm bath and his favorite snack food. When the calming rituals did not work, Sky lost control and sometimes attacked her.

Barnett thinks she was one of the few people who knew just how bad Sky's aggression was. Trudy's friends did not know each other well, and she parceled out her disclosures. A few friends and family members saw the bruises and black eyes, but Trudy always had an explanation. "I hit my head swimming," she told Bill once.

In the spring of 2008, though, Sky's attacks grew much worse, and Trudy decided to reveal - in part - what was going on. She surprised everyone with the way she did it: In a public essay for the student newspaper, The Kent Stater.

In "Just a Conversation," published March 27, 2008, she wrote: "Life with Sky these past few years has been very isolating for the two of us. We can't go out and do the things we used to like to do because Sky gets so overwhelmed. Much of the time, we're here in the house. ... My life was dominated by trying to teach my classes, trying to run a household, trying to fit everything into the few hours he was at school. On bad days, those few hours could turn into a few minutes. I couldn't be a friend to anyone because I physically and emotionally could not be there for them. I had no patience with good and decent colleagues who told me how busy they were. Busy? Try spending an evening sitting in a closet with your back to the door, trying to hold it shut while your child kicks it in."

Her colleagues were stunned. "We had no idea," said Steve Hook, the department chair.

Molly Merriman, a KSU faculty member, tried to convince Trudy she was living with domestic violence, one of Merriman's academic interests. But Trudy still believed Sky would change.

Later that spring of 2008, Sky went into a steep spiral. He had been in special-education classes for five years, and at 16 had begun community work-experience classes, mostly doing custodial work. He especially liked sweeping.

Even with that outlet, his tantrums and violent episodes became more frequent and intense. Records show teachers and aides had to apply physical restraint seven times in April and May, and called Trudy to take Sky home. They requested that she never travel more than 20 minutes away when he was at school.

On May 2, 2008, Sky's violence was bad enough for the school to call the police and EMS. At one point, a Kent police officer reached for his Taser. Sky's aide and Trudy both rushed to stop him. Later, the officer saw Sky hit Trudy in the head from the back seat of her car.

"She was reluctant to admit there are outbursts at home in which she is assaulted, but made reference to a 'safe room' she has in their home," he reported.

The school called Trudy for meeting to discuss an intervention plan. Afterward, she wrote a two-page letter that praised Sky's teacher but objected to much of what the school administrators said. "On many occasions the school's solution when Sky was in meltdown was to call me to transport him home," she wrote. "I have always responded and done so, even while making the argument that this was reinforcing Sky's behavior and getting him what he wanted."

To go home with Momma.

Mother rejects hospitalization

Every summer, when Sky's school was out, Scott took Sky for five weeks while Trudy taught. Their visits always started with a week at Disney World, Sky's favorite place.

In June 2008, Scott took his new wife and his stepson along. Despite this disruption of his routine, Sky did well, Scott says. He liked his stepbrother, who was 10, and enjoyed the long days at the park and long nights at the fireworks. He had no episodes the whole week. Until the final night.

Sky did not want to leave the next morning and became enraged. Scott sent his wife and son from the room to call hotel security. Sky started breaking furniture and mirrors, and then turned on Scott. "It was the first time I got beat up by him," Scott says. "We were all scared."

They ended up at an emergency room, where a dose of the sedative Ativan subdued Sky. The next morning, armed with more Ativan, Scott got on a plane with his son and brought him to University Hospitals' autism unit. He asked them to find a residential placement for Sky. They came up with a facility in the Cleveland area, Scott says, where they had experience dealing with autistic adults with aggression.

"But his mother did not hold the same view as I did," Scott says. "She came and took him out of the hospital, and it didn't happen. She was angry, but that was nothing new."

Scott went back to Wisconsin without Sky. Trudy's brother, Bill, drove up from his home in North Carolina to help with Sky for the remaining three weeks of Scott's custody.

Fear and denial

Sky's senior year started with seven official reports of aggressive episodes and use of physical restraints and police calls. His food obsession, a common factor in autism, had gone out of control.

Trudy told Barnett that she hid food from Sky in the garage. On Thanksgiving Day, Bill heard fear in Trudy's voice for the first time. She told him she had to hide in a closet from Sky, which was news to Bill. He asked her if she was fearful. "I can handle it,"
she said.

But when Christmas approached, Bill sensed she needed help and came to visit. He took Sky to the movies a couple of times and to see the fountain at Tower City. Sky was in great spirits - until Christmas Day.

Trudy gave him an iPod and a digital camera. Bill gave him "The Price Is Right" game for his Wii. It was all too much stimulation and change from his daily routine. "Throughout the day, he had some meltdowns," Bill says.

After dinner, even though it felt awkward to bring it up and Trudy might get angry, Bill again asked about the violence. "Are you safe?" he asked.

"Yes, it's fine," she said, and changed the subject.
sheriffjail.jpgLisa DeJong, The Plain DealerPortage County Sheriff David Doak did not think Sky Walker would be safe with the general population in the county jail, so he kept the autistic teenager in this booking cell for the two months he was incarcerated. He brought in a TV so Sky could watch The Price Is Right, and allowed his family to visit him in the booking area.

A son's disability, a mother's death

Trudy did not make it through the first month of the new year.

On Jan. 29, 2009, just before noon, a KSU administrator called the sheriff's office to report that Trudy did not show up for work. It was the first time in 33 years that she had missed a class without calling. That morning, she missed two. She did not answer her phone.

A dispatcher sent three deputies to Trudy's house in Kent. Inside, they found her on the kitchen floor, her face battered and covered with dried blood, her eyes swollen shut. Her head rested in fresh blood. Blood tracks led from her body toward the basement, where they found Sky huddled on a mattress.

As deputies handcuffed Sky, he screamed and thrashed so hard they had to subdue him with pepper spray. Minutes later, he reared back and kicked a deputy in the head, hard. The other deputies pushed him to the floor and bound his ankles and wrists together behind his back.

"Boo-boo," he said, when a detective asked him what happened to his mother. "Band-Aid." "Tummy hurt." Then he sprayed the detective with spit.

Emergency workers took Trudy, still unconscious, to Akron City Hospital. She had massive trauma to her head, broken ribs, a collapsed lung, a damaged eye socket, and bite marks on her face, arms and upper legs.

The deputies took Sky to Portage County Jail, where they locked him in a suicide-watch cell. They wrestled him into orange prisoner's clothes; he tore them off. They tried again; he tore them off again. They gave him a blanket. Sitting in his cell naked, with the blanket around his shoulders like a superhero cape, Sky screamed, a high-pitched wail that sounded like keening grief.

"Hurt Momma," he said. "Sad."

David Doak had been sheriff for less than a month when Sky landed in his jail. That evening, when Sky had calmed down, Doak went to see him. He was asking Sky questions through the food slot when Sky suddenly reached through the small opening, grabbed Doak's trousers and pulled.

"He put me off balance, almost off my feet," Doak says. "I mean, he was big, and he was really strong. When his adrenaline is running, he's a pretty tough guy."

Doak, a man with the laid-back demeanor of a pilot flying through turbulence, had never dealt with a prisoner like Sky before. He'd seen plenty of wild people during his career in law enforcement, people on alcohol and drugs - or, far worse, and increasingly common in police work, mentally ill people who had gone off the medications that kept them stable.

But Sky was different. Doak didn't know much about autism, but he could see that Sky Walker would be a high-maintenance prisoner. He hoped Sky would not be in the Portage County jail very long.

That afternoon Doak's deputies contacted Trudy's family, who drove to Ohio right away. It took longer to find a number for Scott Walker in Wisconsin. They reached him that night.

"I was horrified," Scott says. He couldn't believe Sky was being held in a jail cell. "Of course, my response was to try to find some way to get him alternatively placed pending arrangements for trial."

Scott and Trudy's family had not spoken after the couple divorced, though they had been on good terms when Sky was a child. After the deputy called, Scott exchanged text messages with Trudy's niece, but says he did not speak with any of the family or feel welcome to come to Ohio. He did not visit Sky during the two months he was in the county jail.

"The reason I didn't come out is, one, there was nothing I could do, and I wasn't even going to be allowed to see Sky at that point," he says. "Trudy was in intensive care, and there were a number of her friends and colleagues there with her. And I had responsibilities here."

Attention on a dark secret

Trudy Steuernagel died without regaining consciousness. Her Feb. 13 memorial service at KSU drew hundreds of mourners.

Thousands more read of the tragedy on autism Web sites and blogs, in newspapers and in the pages of People magazine. Trudy's death focused national attention on what her brother, Bill Steuernagel, calls the dark secret of autism: the violence that sometimes emerges with puberty, especially in boys.

Bill wondered why he had not heard much about aggression in autism before Trudy's death. Then he decided the autism community feared stigmatizing the disorder. In some ways, he understood.

But good intentions can have unintended consequences, and in this case the public silence had a tragic one: Many parents who endure violent outbursts from their autistic children feel very much alone.

Trudy's death spurred some to break their silence. Ann Bauer, known for her writing on autism, described the horrific violence her once-sweet son unleashed on her and others in an online essay titled "The Monster Inside My Son." On news Web sites, including The Plain Dealer's, stories about Sky and Trudy brought responses from parents who said they feared the same thing could happen to them.

"My son is 22 and has autism, mental retardation and is non-verbal," wrote one mother. "He has gotten quite violent with me in the past, severely and repeatedly slamming my head into the floor or head butting me until I was able to escape. I have been lucky and I know it. He doesn't mean to hurt me and he attacks without warnings. I am currently looking into residential placement for my son, but it is a heart-wrenching decision."

A case of murder

Two weeks after Trudy died, a Portage County grand jury indicted Sky on two counts of murder. Trudy's family hired Ravenna attorney Errol Can and also brought in Gian De Caris and Mark Stanton, Cleveland defense lawyers who specialize in mental health cases.

De Caris had never had an autistic client and wasn't sure what to expect. "After five minutes, it was clear that he was on the severe end of the spectrum and had no idea what was going on," De Caris says.

The prosecutor's office also recognized this, but an unnatural death had occurred and the law required certain steps.

First, a psychologist had to evaluate Sky to determine competency. Could he understand his legal situation and assist his lawyers in his own defense? His first court appearance, via video from the jail, offered a preliminary answer. Sky, upset by the unfamiliar proceeding, started flailing and spitting, until deputies strapped him into a restraint chair and put a spit mask over his head.

The photo in the next day's local newspaper made Sky look like Hannibal Lecter in "The Silence of the Lambs." It brought a new wave of national media and Internet attention. On autism Web sites, writers repeated the same outraged questions. Why did a low-functioning autistic boy have to go through the legal process when he clearly had no idea what he had done? And why was Sheriff Doak holding him in a jail cell?

Doak had the same concerns, but there was nowhere else for Sky to go at that point. "We knew he didn't belong in a jail cell more than anybody," he says.

For the two months Sky remained in the jail, Doak kept him in a cell in the booking area because he didn't think Sky would be safe with the general population. "They wouldn't be too happy with the screaming and spitting," Doak says. "Sky wasn't a bad kid. I liked him. But he was a handful."

Sky's cell was the size of a small office cubicle, with half the space taken up by a toilet. To help keep him calm, Doak and his staff bent many rules. They allowed family to visit Sky outside the normal visitation area and times. They let Sky wear his usual outfit of blue shorts and T-shirts, and parked a TV outside his cell so he could watch DVDs of "The Price Is Right."

They put him on a tight routine to help him feel secure, and used picture cards to show him his schedule. When he grew agitated, they calmed him with barbecue chips and Ativan. They continued his other prescribed medications.

Doak and his staff worked with Bill Steuernagel, who took on the parental role in Scott's absence. Bill brought Sky McDonald's chicken and fries almost every day, and gave the sheriff two lists Trudy had written to explain Sky's rote phrases. She called it "Sky-speak."

"If Sky says the following," she wrote, "it means he is unhappy: Dairy Queen; Ride the Roller Coaster; 'Dr. Seuss's ABC'; DVD on, 'Cat in the Hat' on."

A second list meant he was happy: "Trolley school bus; Short neck giraffe; Sixteen J's; Four whammies, Eric."

At the bottom of the list, Bill added: "If he is unhappy, avoid eye contact and speaking to him. If communication is necessary, speak softly."

The corrections officers in the booking area began to develop a relationship with Sky. Sometimes, though, their precautions failed. The prosecutor's investigative file contains several reports detailing Sky's outbursts. "Sky would try at times to kick or strike officers while taking a shower," one reads. "Sky verbalized, 'No guts, no glory,' [and] spit a few times while [the] officer protected himself with a riot shield. Sky kept yelling and kicking."

Once, he attacked Bill when he took him to the shower and missed several signals that Sky was agitated. "It was the first time I had seen the violence," Bill says. "I thought about my sister, going through that."

Like Bill, Doak and the staff knew Sky didn't mean to hurt anyone. "I have no tolerance and no sympathy for people who murder," Doak says. "But there was no intent there."

Every morning, Doak went into work praying that someone had found a better place for Sky.
v "Everybody searched," says De Caris, Sky's lawyer. "The prosecutor's office, the county MRDD board. I used my local contacts, I did Internet searches, I called directors of facilities."

The search kept turning up empty. Because of the severity of the crime, they needed to find a locked unit in a facility for the developmentally disabled. "There were different places they would find, and it would look good, and then it would turn out they didn't have a lockdown. We're talking two or three beds in the entire state," Doak says.

Finally they found Northwest Ohio Developmental Center in Toledo, one of 10 facilities run by the state. On April 1, the Portage County Board of Developmental Disabilities sent a bus to the jail. The jail staff stood outside to say goodbye to Sky, some with tears in their eyes. Sky, giddy to be outside and going on a trip, rode happily with his Uncle Bill all the way to Toledo.

Finding a place for all the Skys

The two-month search for a place for Sky mirrored what many parents nationwide face as their severely autistic children become adults. Federally mandated educational services covered by public funding end at age 22.

"All of a sudden, the kids are growing up and the parents are saying, 'Now what do we do?'" says Rainbow Autism Center's Wiznitzer.

"Because autism is a spectrum, there's going to need to be a wide range of options for adult living," says Susan Ratner, assistant director for special projects at Bellefaire JCB in Shaker Heights, which is in the early stages of developing a small adult-residential facility.

When the Bellefaire staff looked for models around the country, however, they could not find many. "What has clearly come out is that there are big gaps in adult services," Ratner says.

The search process is even more complex and sensitive when violence is involved.

In 2001, the Autism Society of America sounded the alarm on what it called a national crisis: a critical shortage of services and facilities for adults with autism. In 2007, when not much had changed, it updated its call for action. Parts of the ASA's report read like an account of Trudy and Sky's lives.

"In a behavioral, out-of-control crisis, individuals with autism can be scary," it says. "Parents are desperate. Aging caretakers (often single mothers, often living alone with their middle-aged child), knowing how difficult it is to adequately care for an adult with autism, are often prisoners in their own homes."

De Caris came to the same conclusion. "This is more common than I ever imagined," he says. "The facilities are just not out there - not at the level that's going to be needed. What's going to happen to all these children as they get older, and their parents who are their primary caregivers disappear? Even at facilities that do exist, the cost is outrageous. If you're making a typical salary, how do you afford that?"

Trudy had known she could not care for Sky forever. She had planned to keep him in school as a full-time student as long as she could, so that her health insurance would cover him. But she wanted to retire within a few years and started to look for a place for Sky. It became clear how difficult that would be.

The only facility Trudy liked was a private one in Charlottesville, Va., near her sister and nieces. It charged an entry fee of almost $58,000, in addition to about $3,000 a month. That was one problem, but another was bigger, she told Bill: Sky's anger had to be under control before they would take him.

In the meantime, Trudy had also been planning for Sky's life beyond school. A caseworker with the Portage County Board of Developmental Disabilities had told her Sky could do well at their sheltered workshop, Portage Industries, perhaps doing the custodial work he enjoyed. They planned to ease Sky into it with a slow, three-year transition from school.

Trudy did not ask for help with finding Sky a residential placement, however.

The caseworker, George Paroz, says Medicaid and the county offer financial assistance for both in-home help and residential placement. These programs have waiting lists, some of them long, but if safety becomes an issue, families are moved to the top for an emergency placement.

"If she had said, 'He can't live here anymore, he's a danger to me,' that would have been an emergency placement," Paroz says. "And if it needs to be done, it gets done, and we find the money."

But Trudy had never said it. "Trudy was of the belief that she could handle him best," Paroz says.

The judge decides

Two psychologists reported to the court that Sky was not competent to stand trial and would never be restored to that level of competence. Both confirmed that Sky was autistic, and added a new diagnosis, that he was mentally retarded.

"Trudy would never have accepted that Sky was retarded," Bill says. "Eighty percent of the time, when he's in a good mood, the kid is very smart."

On Sept. 14, after listening to evidence that included a DNA match of Trudy's blood to the blood found on Sky's feet, Portage County Common Pleas Judge John Enlow ruled that Sky murdered his mother.

But, since Sky was not competent for trial, Enlow dismissed the charges and ordered him to remain at the Northwest Ohio Developmental Center. The commitment was, in essence, a life sentence, because it is unlikely the court will ever release him.

Medicaid pays $460 a day to shelter him at Northwest, a campus with spacious lawns, outdoor play equipment and nine cottages that can accommodate 162 residents. Sky occupies the one locked facility, sometimes sharing it with other residents. He has two aides on duty at all times. He continues to have violent episodes.

He also has occasional visitors. His father says he has visited several times. His cousins and aunt have been to see him. His uncle, Bill, has visited several times, bringing him his favorite McDonald's foods. When the judge allowed Sky outside the cottage, Bill began taking him for walks in the gym on campus.

The visits do n't last long. Bill usually watches Sky play his "Price Is Right" game. "He'll acknowledge you, he might like the chicken and fries," Bill says. "But there really is no communication."

Sometimes, Bill wonders if Sky knows what happened to his mom, or understands why she is no longer part of his life. The aides tell Bill that Sky has said, "Momma dead," several times, but no one knows where he heard those words.

Scott believes Sky understands what happened. On three visits, he says, Sky has said, "Don't hit Momma," or "Sky sorry hit Momma," each time in response to Scott's questions about his new rooms.

"And he's almost crying as he says these things," Scott says.

Scott is not sure Sky understands death, however. "The closest he came was when the family dog died," Scott says. "His summation of it was, well, she was with her puppies. I have no idea why he thought the puppies were synonymous with heaven, but he did, and there was an air of finality in the way he made that pronouncement."

On one visit, Sky said to Scott, "Want Momma." "And of course I told him, 'Momma loves you very much.'"
gravestone.jpgLisa DeJong, The Plain DealerTrudy Steuernagel's family buried her ashes in a plot overlooking the Cuyahoga River at Kents Standing Rock Cemetery. They left a place for Sky to join her one day.

A final resting place

Bill Steuernagel still has the letter Trudy wrote and locked in her safe. At first, Trudy's family decided not to reveal to outsiders what it said. One of Sky's lawyers told them it might give autism a black eye. Another said it might make Trudy look bad.

Recently, the family reconsidered. "I know my sister well enough that this just didn't come out of nowhere," Bill says. "She meant for it to be read."

So Bill read it aloud, stumbling as he focused through tears on his sister's words.

"To whom it may concern:

"If this letter has been opened and is being read, it is because I have been seriously injured or killed by my son, Sky Walker. I love Sky with my whole heart and soul and do not believe he has intentionally injured me. I have tried my best to get help for him and to end the pattern of violence that has developed in this home. I believe my best has not been good enough. That is my fault, not Sky's. Numerous people know about the violence and many have witnessed it. We have all failed Sky. I do not want him to be punished for actions for which he is not responsible.

"Trudy Steuernagel."

Bill and his family buried Trudy's ashes at Standing Rock Cemetery in Kent, in a plot overlooking the Cuyahoga River. Her headstone, carved to look like an open book with a dove hovering above, carries her inscription on the left-hand page: "Momma / Gertrude 'Trudy' Steuernagel / Aug. 25, 1948 / Feb. 6, 2009."

The facing page reads: "Son / Sky A. Walker / Nov. 15, 1990," with a blank space left for the time he joins her.

December 5, 2009

Mercury Containing Vaccine Clinic Closed on Account of Mercury

A school vaccine clinic in Warwick R.I. had to be shut down this week because someone spilled mercury and a hazmat team needed to be called in.

Because we all know that mercury on the ground is dangerous while mercury in a child's veins is safe and even recommended by CDC and AAP.

News reports say that a thermometer was accidentally broken, so the cafeteria where the vaccine clinic was being held had to be evacuated.

Spill causes scare at local H1N1 clinic Gym evacuated after mercury spills onto floor

Updated: Saturday, 05 Dec 2009, 2:39 AM EST
Published : Saturday, 05 Dec 2009, 2:38 AM EST

WEST WARWICK, R.I.
(WPRI) - A chemical spill causes a hazmat scare at a local H1N1 clinic.

A thermometer accidentally broke Friday afternoon spilling mercury onto the floor of the gym at the Greenbush School in West Warwick.

The gym had to be evacuated.

It took crews hours to clean up that spill.

But what do you think the chances are of a mercury thermometer being used in a school in 2009? Haven't these gone the way cigarette ads and seat belts that buckle in the middle?

Might not the most likely source of a mercury spill during an H1N1 vaccine clinic be the H1N1 Vaccine itself?

Because as I called to your attention last month, these shots, being given to children, if spilled on the ground are legally required to be cleaned up by a hazmat team. As a reminder:

"the mercury concentration in the H1N1 and seasonal flu shots is exponentially larger than what is considered hazmat material. A comparison of mercury concentrations from Pediatrics:

0.5 parts per billion (ppb) mercury = Kills human neuroblastoma cells (Parran et al., Toxicol Sci 2005; 86: 132-140).

2 ppb mercury = U.S. EPA limit for drinking water http://www.epa.gov/safewater/contaminants/index.html#mcls

20 ppb mercury = Neurite membrane structure destroyed (Leong et al., Neuroreport 2001; 12: 733-37).

200 ppb mercury = level in liquid the EPA classifies as hazardous waste. http://www.epa.gov/epaoswer/hazwaste/mercury/regs.htm#hazwaste

25,000 ppb mercury = Concentration of mercury in the Hepatitis B vaccine, administered at birth in the U.S., from 1990-2001.

50,000 ppb Mercury = Concentration of mercury in multi-dose DTaP and Haemophilus B vaccine vials, administered 4 times each in the 1990's to children at 2, 4, 6, 12 and 18 months of age. Current "preservative" level mercury in multi-dose flu (94% of supply), meningococcal and tetanus (7 and older) vaccines. This can be confirmed by simply analyzing the multi- dose vials.


In my home state of Maine mercury disposal is regulated by The Hazardous Waste Rules Chapter 850:

Maine Department of Environmental Protection

Chapter 850: IDENTIFICATION OF HAZARDOUS WASTES

B. Identification of hazardous wastes by characteristics

(5) Characteristic of toxicity

(b) A waste that exhibits the characteristic of toxicity has the EPA Hazardous Waste Number specified in Table I which corresponds to the toxic contaminant causing it to be hazardous.

Table I. Maximum Concentration of Contaminants for the Toxicity Characteristic

EPA Hazardous Waste No.: D009

Contaminant: Mercury

Regulatory Level (mg/L): 0.2 mg/L [0.2002 ppm] [200.2 ppb]


What this means is that if you took one of the vaccines being injected into the children at my son's elementary school outside and squirted it onto the pavement, a hazmat rules would be triggered and a hasmat team must be called in to clean it up."

So is this what happened? Did the school comply with the law and call hazmat in to clean up a thimerosal containing vaccine spill and then lie about it, telling the public that it was a thermometer so that they would not see the violent absurdity of injecting hazardous material into children?

Any one near Warwick wanna follow this up and find a witness to this "thermometer" accident?

November 30, 2009

House of Locks

Two weeks ago Chandler got out. He was outside with his dad raking leaves and got over (or under or through?) the back fence. Police were called, loving neighbors fanned out, Chandler was found safe, I spent the rest of the day having flashbacks of Ashley's death and a small nervous break down while my dear husband spent it chicken wiring the backyard.

This week out of the blue I got a facebook message from a cheerful young man named Fidel Cabral. He sent me a poem and I wanted to share it with you.

Hello! I am Fidel. Nice to meet you. How are you today?
I am an adult with autism. I was diagnosed when I was in preschool.
Do you have friends/family members with autism?
I have a poem to send you on autism entitled "House Of Locks"...

I hope I can be your facebook friend in the near future and would love to discuss topics related to autism in the near future.
Please send me a reply. Thanks :)

House Of Locks

You know our house on the block,
it's the one they call the house of locks.
We're not worried about what may come in,
What scares us, is what lives within.

No, it's not a monster or a ghost,
but keep on guessing you're getting close.
On every window and door there is a lock,
to keep inside what it is we can not block.

I remember the day my fear began,
the day that we could not find him.
We searched our yard near and far,
and then we found him in the car.

100 degrees or maybe hotter,
quick let's get him in cold water.
No response, to the hospital we go,
"Why", is what the docs wanted to know.

No, we did not put him there,
we tried to make this very clear.
Then we told them what lives within,
we told them docs, "Our son has autism."

Then it seemed they understood,
and did all that they possibly could.
Thank God, our son is doing fine,
and now the house of locks is mine.

I may have to commission a follow up called, "Backyard of Chickenwire".

November 3, 2009

Vaccine Choice Supporter Chris Christie Wins NJ Governors Race


New Jersey, highest autism rate in the nation, no philosophical exemption for vaccination, and a governor that has been less than helpful to our community.

Exit Corzine, enter Christie.

Let's hold Governor Christie's feet to the fire.

From Life Health Choices:

MEDIA ADVISORY
Louise Kuo Habakus
louise@lifehealthchoices.com
917-553-4634

Citizens Demanding Vaccination Choice Carry Republican Chris Christie To New Jersey Governorship November 3, 2009, Middletown, NJ – In an unprecedented and historic move, Chris Christie put pen to paper last week and made an official campaign promise to citizens of New Jersey in support of vaccination choice. He further cemented his position on live radio with Don Imus, by becoming the first gubernatorial candidate to utter the words vaccines, autism and parental choice in the same sentence. Vaccine choice supporters showed up in record numbers tonight to cast their vote for Christie.

“Tonight, vaccine choice advocates in New Jersey are proud to announce that vaccination choice is officially a voting block,” says Life Health Choices Founder, Louise Kuo Habakus, who met with campaign leaders last December and kept the lines of communication open. “This election is a wake-up call to politicians nationwide. Vaccine choice belongs in the parents’ house, not the Statehouse or the White House.”
After receipt of the official Christie campaign promise on Friday, vaccination choice and autism advocates mobilized in force on the internet. They alerted tens of thousands of supporters, who in turn took to Facebook, Twitter, and their own support group networks to reach hundreds of thousands more. News of Christie’s now famous statement spread like wildfire through the state and across the country:

“I stand by them now, and will stand with them as their governor in their fight for greater parental involvement in vaccination decisions that affect their children… Ending waste in government in order to improve care and services for these unique children and adults, as well as giving parents the choice they deserve in their children’s health care decisions, will be top priorities.”

Anger towards Governor Corzine has been building. It is well known that New Jersey, Autism Capital of the world, is also Ground Zero for mandated shots for school. Many parents and grandparents blame environmental causes, including the state’s ultra-aggressive vaccine schedule. The “Freedom of Choice” rally in Trenton last fall garnered national media attention and catapulted this issue into the mainstream dialogue. On the heels of Corzine’s 2008 decision to add four additional vaccine mandates to the state’s already crowded schedule, thousands of parents have lined up to attend vaccination choice seminars and protests across the state.

In August, Christie and running mate, Monmouth County Sheriff Kim Guagdano, met with parents and received an unvarnished assessment of New Jersey’s position on this issue from Habakus: “Fifty percent of Americans in 18 U.S. states including the highly populous, corridor states of California and Texas have vaccination choice. We deserve it here, in the state that leads the nation in autism incidence and the number of mandated shots for school attendance.”

“We look forward to Governor-elect Christie’s leadership and working with the new administration,” says Habakus.

For more information, go to www.lifehealthchoices.com

October 30, 2009

Chris Christie Supporing Parental Choice in Vaccination in his Bid for Governor of NJ

Welcome news as Corzine has admitted that the only thing he gets more calls about than autism is tolls, yet has failed to follow through on the committements he made to our community. 

Corzine needs to go.

From Louise Kuo Habakus of Life Health Choices:

A PERSONAL APPEAL TO VOTE FOR CHRIS CHRISTIE

I'm making a personal appeal to our community. Please join me in voting Chris Christie for Governor on Tuesday, November 3rd.
Whether you live in New Jersey or not, this e-mail is for you.
I'm asking you to forward this to everyone you know. This is a bona fide "get out the vote" from someone who has lived here for nearly two decades and seen firsthand how Trenton is failing the people of New Jersey.
It's time to stop wringing our hands about how bad things have gotten. In a democracy, we get the government (and the governor) we deserve. The election is close. If you know me, then you will know that my standards are high, my commitment to progress is deep, and I do not make this appeal lightly.
Here's why you must vote. For Christie.

WHY WE MUST VOTE CHRIS CHRISTIE FOR GOVERNOR ON TUESDAY

  1. Christie supports vaccination choice. He wrote the following letter of support on Campaign letterhead, to the vaccination choice and special needs communities. He states: Many of these families have expressed their concern over New Jersey's highest-in-the-nation vaccine mandates. I stand with them now, and will stand with them as their governor, in the fight for greater parental involvement in vaccination decisions that affect their children.
  2. Christie has reached out. I met with Chris in August. He is the only candidate who approached us, offered his time, and said he wanted to learn more. His lead policy guy visited me on two separate occasions to open the dialogue, late last year, at the moment Christie had made the decision to run.
  3. Christie has gone on the record. He stated his support for vaccination choice early on, during the primary debate. He went on Imus in the Morning this past Thursday and said: "We need to look at all the different things affecting autism in New Jersey because we have the highest rate in the country. Not just the environmental concerns but vaccinations. Parents of children with autism need to be heard, they need a seat at the table to be talking about these issues. I met with a number of these parents, I've spoken to them about the awful time they've had. They need to have somebody who is going to them. And I'm going to listen to their concerns and try to make things better. But clean up the environment is one of the ways. Be more environmentaly sensitive in terms of the other toxins that we put into our environment. And also dealing with the vaccination issue is important..."
  4. Christie understands parents' concerns. He is a young parent himself. He sees that parents are desperately worried about very real world problems, such as autism and chronic disease. He sees that parents are being forced to vaccinate when they believe in their hearts that the shots are harming their children. He sees that the epidemic of sick and injured children in New Jersey is the pressing public health crisis of the day. And unlike the other candidates, he has shown us that he's willing to talk about it.
To say this is a breath of fresh air is a massive understatement.

CORZINE HAS BEEN BAD FOR NEW JERSEY

Speaking plainly, Corzine does not deserve to be re-elected. Here are the reasons I cannot vote for Corzine:

He Isn't Listening To His Constituents: Vaccination Choice

  1. Last year, he added four new vaccine mandates to the most crowded schedule of any state in the country. And he did it completely outside the legislative process. Corzine pushed the mandates through the Public Health Council, a rubber-stamping formality. That's how NJ became the first state in the country, and the first jurisdiction in the world, to mandate the seasonal flu shot in 2008.
  2. Despite the Trenton "Freedom of Choice" rally that drew national press and widespread attention... despite the many thousands of requests from parents begging for vaccination choice... Corzine has categorically refused to support passage of the Conscientious Exemption to Mandatory Immunization bill, A260/S1071. Corzine admitted to us that he gets more calls and letters on this issue than any other except tolls.
  3. And perhaps most egregious of all, he promised to support both vaccination choice and removal of the mercury-based vaccine preservative, thimerosal, from our vaccines when he was running for governor. And he never followed through. There's a less kind way to say the same thing.

Corzine Has Abandoned The Special Needs Community

These are strong words chosen carefully to deliver a strong message.
  1. Zero leadership. New Jersey is Ground Zero when it comes to the autism epidemic in the United States. There has been no official statement of concern, no think tank sessions, no roundtables, no convening of leading scientists, doctors and toxicologists. We're not even sure he's concerned.
  2. Corzine has refused to err on the side of caution. His failure to send a strong message of concern about the rising incidence of autism has been a profound disappointment. But he has taken his neglect one terrible step further. He could have just held firm. Completely ignoring the existing and emerging science that links vaccines and their ingredients to the symptoms and hallmarks of autism and chronic illness, Corzine chose instead to add even more vaccines to the schedule, including shots that no other state in the country has dared to mandate. We mandate 36% more shots than the next highest state. Why? Why indeed.
  3. Waste and abject failure under his watch. A devastating audit of the Division of Developmental Disabilities revealed a shocking degree of waste and callous indifference to the plight of New Jersey's affected families.
  4. It is a form of insanity to re-elect him and expect progress. Corzine has demonstrated little interest in developing innovative answers to the problems facing NJ's parents, both those with and without special needs. I have no reason to believe this would change, if he is elected for another term. We expected the former Wall Street CEO to clean up Trenton. We expected him to do a lot more than deploy his millions in support of his own re-election. Imagine if he had taken $120 million of his own money, the money that he spent on his three campaigns, and instead created real solutions, that real money can buy, to the real problems facing New Jersey?
Corzine does not deserve to be re-elected.

A NATIONAL MESSAGE: WHAT HAPPENS IN NEW JERSEY MATTERS TO YOU

New Jersey is Ground Zero when it comes to the issue of vaccine mandates. No state in the country, no place in the world, mandates more shots for daycare and school than the Garden State.
Help us now. It's time for the country to get on with the task at hand:
  • Finding solutions for the real public health catastrophe in our country: an epidemic of neurological, autoimmune and chronic illness facing our children, including asthma, diabetes, ADHD, allergies, peanut anaphylaxis, seizures, palsies, arthritis, OCD, autism and learning disabilities. One in six American children is learning disabled.
  • Setting Big Government straight, that fake pandemics, massive and expensive vaccine campaigns, and the systematic erosion of personal, health care freedom and parental rights has got to stop now.
New Jersey is the most reliable bellwether for the clout and influence of Big Pharma in our country. If we succeed in taking on the pharmaceutical industry here, there is hope for the rest of the nation.

BE VIGILANT AND PARTICIPATE IN THE POLITICAL PROCESS

These are historic times. The swine flu pandemic has reshaped the vaccination choice debate. If government can:
  • change the definition of an epidemic to mean something non-virulent,
  • mobilize billions of dollars to fight something that's not remotely deadly, and
  • mandate unproven, insufficently tested vaccines...
We must question whether our government has earned the right to withhold choice, whether they have earned the right to tell us what we must put into our bodies. In my opinion, we have but two viable paths to pursue. The first is legal action. The second is our power at the voting booth.
Vaccines are meant to prevent disease. They must be as safe as possible. If they are not safe, they should not be mandated. If they are safe, people will take them.
So give us choice. And give New Jersey a new governor that will prioritize this issue for us all. We can ill afford more of the same. Vote on Tuesday, Chris Christie for Governor.

Louise Kuo Habakus

p.s. We'll have some news to share in the next newsletter. We're aligning and collaborating with likeminded organizations to increase our scope and reach.
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October 26, 2009

The Dangers of Mercury in the H1N1 Vaccine


Last night I attended a SAD 75 (a Maine school district) public meeting on the H1N1 response and school vaccine clinics. It was a strange experience for me, as I feel like I had stepped back in time to a day ten years ago when giving mercury to children was no big deal, perfectly safe, just like candy really.

I pointed out a number of problems with doing so, which I assumed were common knowledge, that proved at the very least that mercury containing vaccines were not desirable and I will list some of those here for those of you who watched the meeting on TV and wanted references to my points.

As I want every parent and individual to have the informed consent that I was not given in vaccinating my child, I will also list several other references.

And if you have not read it already, this is a good time to review my "History of Thimerosal" (needs updating since 2007)


First, a reminder of what mercury does in the brain:




CDC's toxicology division, ATSDR, says that this is what mercury can do to children:

How does mercury affect children?

Very young children are more sensitive to mercury than adults. Mercury in the mother's body passes to the fetus and may accumulate there. It can also can pass to a nursing infant through breast milk. However, the benefits of breast feeding may be greater than the possible adverse effects of mercury in breast milk.

Mercury's harmful effects that may be passed from the mother to the fetus include brain damage, mental retardation, incoordination, blindness, seizures, and inability to speak. Children poisoned by mercury may develop problems of their nervous and digestive systems, and kidney damage.

And they have set up a new web site to warn children of the dangers of mercury complete with scary video:

Don't Mess With Mercury


A reminder of the damage that mercury does in the body:

Mercury impairs the immune system at a tiny fraction of the dose that is in vaccines:

Uncoupling of ATP-mediated Calcium Signaling and Dysregulated IL-6 Secretion in Dendritic Cells by Nanomolar Thimerosal

Environmental Health Perspectives, July 2006.

Samuel R. Goth, Ruth A. Chu Jeffrey P. Gregg

This study demonstrates that very low-levels of Thimerosal can contribute to immune system disregulation.

Excerpt: "Our findings that DCs primarily express the RyR1 channel complex and that this complex is uncoupled by very low levels of THI with dysregulated IL-6 secretion raise intriguing questions about a molecular basis for immune dyregulation and the possible role of the RyR1 complex in genetic susceptibility of the immune system to mercury."

The type of mercury in vaccines becomes trapped in the brain at higher rates than ingested mercury from fish:

Comparison of Blood and Brain Mercury Levels in Infant Monkeys Exposed to Methylmercury or Vaccines Containing Thimerosal

Environmental Health Perspectives, Aug 2005.

Thomas Burbacher, PhD [University of Washington].

Thimerosal is a preservative that has been used in manufacturing vaccines since the 1930s. Reports have indicated that infants can receive ethylmercury (in the form of thimerosal) at or above the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) guidelines for methylmercury (MeHg) exposure, depending on the exact vaccinations, schedule, and size of the infant. This study compared the systemic disposition and brain distribution of total and inorganic mercury in infant monkeys following thimerosal exposure with infants exposed to MeHg. Monkeys were exposed to MeHg (via oral gavage) or vaccines containing thimerosal (via i.m. injection) at birth and 1, 2, and 3 weeks of age. Total blood mercury (Hg) levels were determined 2, 4 and 7 days after each exposure. Total and inorganic brain Hg levels were assessed 2, 4, 7 or 28 days after the last exposure.

The initial and terminal half-life of Hg in blood following thimerosal exposure was 2.1 and 8.6 days, which are significantly shorter than the elimination half-life of Hg following MeHg exposure at 21.5 days. Brain concentrations of total Hg were significantly lower by ~3-fold for the thimerosal-exposed infants when compared to the MeHg infants, while the average brain-to-blood concentration ratio was slightly higher for the thimerosal-exposed infants (3.5±1.0 vs. 2.5±0.6). A higher percentage of the total Hg in the brain was in the form of inorganic mercury for the thimerosal-exposed infants (34% vs 7%). The current study indicates that MeHg is not a suitable reference for risk assessment from exposure to thimerosal derived Hg. Knowledge of the toxicokinetics and developmental toxicity of thimerosal is needed to afford a meaningful assessment of the developmental effects of thimerosal-containing vaccines.

It causes neuro-inflammation (ie, rapid brain growth) by activating "glial" cells in the brain:

Increases in the number of reactive glia in the visual cortex of Macaca fascicularis following subclinical long-term methyl mercury exposure.

Toxicology and Applied Pharmacology, 1994

Charleston JS, Bolender RP, Mottet NK, Body RL, Vahter ME, Burbacher TM., Department of Pathology, School of Medicine, University of Washington

The number of neurons, astrocytes, reactive glia, oligodendrocytes, endothelia, and pericytes in the cortex of the calcarine sulcus of adult female Macaca fascicularis following long-term subclinical exposure to methyl mercury (MeHg) and mercuric chloride (inorganic mercury; IHg) has been estimated by use of the optical volume fractionator stereology technique. Four groups of monkeys were exposed to MeHg (50 micrograms Hg/kg body wt/day) by mouth for 6, 12, 18, and 12 months followed by 6 months without exposure (clearance group). A fifth group of monkeys was administered IHg (as HgCl2; 200 micrograms Hg/kg body wt/day) by constant rate intravenous infusion via an indwelling catheter for 3 months. Reactive glia showed a significant increase in number for every treatment group, increasing 72% in the 6-month, 152% in the 12-month, and 120% in the 18-month MeHg exposed groups, and the number of reactive glia in the clearance group remained elevated (89%). The IHg exposed group showed a 165% increase in the number of reactive glia. The IHg exposed group and the clearance group had low levels of MeHg present within the tissue; however, the level of IHg was elevated in both groups. These results suggest that the IHg may be responsible for the increase in reactive glia. All other cell types, including the neurons, showed no significant change in number at the prescribed exposure level and durations. The identities of the reactive glial cells and the implications for the long-term function and survivability of the neurons due to changes in the glial population following subclinical long-term exposure to mercury are discussed.

It impairs methylation, a biological process that creates the compound gluthatione, that allows the body to process out toxic substances:
Activation of Methionine Synthase by Insulin-like Growth Factor-1 and Dopamine: a Target for Neurodevelopmental Toxins and Thimerosal

Molecular Psychiatry, July 2004.

Richard C. Deth, PhD [Northeastern University].

This study demonstrates how Thimerosal inhibits methylation, a central driver of cellular communication and development. Excerpt:

"The potent inhibition of this pathway [methylation] by ethanol, lead, mercury, aluminum, and thimerosal suggests it may be an important target of neurodevelopmental toxins."

Thimerosal, at a fraction of the dose found in vaccines, causes motochondrial damage so severe, that it causes the cell actually self-destruct:

Thimerosal induces neuronal cell apoptosis by causing cytochrome c and apoptosis-inducing factor release from mitochondria.

International Journal of Molecular Medicine, 2006

Yel L, Brown LE, Su K, Gollapudi S, Gupta S.Department of Medicine, University of California, Irvine, CA 92697, USA. lyel@uci.edu

There is a worldwide increasing concern over the neurological risks of thimerosal (ethylmercury thiosalicylate) which is an organic mercury compound that is commonly used as an antimicrobial preservative. In this study, we show that thimerosal, at nanomolar concentrations, induces neuronal cell death through the mitochondrial pathway. Thimerosal, in a concentration- and time-dependent manner, decreased cell viability as assessed by calcein-ethidium staining and caused apoptosis detected by Hoechst 33258 dye. Thimerosal-induced apoptosis was associated with depolarization of mitochondrial membrane, generation of reactive oxygen species, and release of cytochrome c and apoptosis-inducing factor (AIF) from mitochondria to cytosol. Although thimerosal did not affect cellular expression of Bax at the protein level, we observed translocation of Bax from cytosol to mitochondria. Finally, caspase-9 and caspase-3 were activated in the absence of caspase-8 activation. Our data suggest that thimerosal causes apoptosis in neuroblastoma cells by changing the mitochondrial microenvironment.

Mitochondrial mediated thimerosal-induced apoptosis in a human neuroblastoma cell line (SK-N-SH).

Neurotoxicology. 2005

Humphrey ML, Cole MP, Pendergrass JC, Kiningham KK. Department of Pharmacology, Joan C. Edwards School of Medicine, Marshall University, Huntington, WV 25704-9388, USA.
Environmental exposure to mercurials continues to be a public health issue due to their deleterious effects on immune, renal and neurological function. Recently the safety of thimerosal, an ethyl mercury-containing preservative used in vaccines, has been questioned due to exposure of infants during immunization. Mercurials have been reported to cause apoptosis in cultured neurons; however, the signaling pathways resulting in cell death have not been well characterized. Therefore, the objective of this study was to identify the mode of cell death in an in vitro model of thimerosal-induced neurotoxicity, and more specifically, to elucidate signaling pathways which might serve as pharmacological targets. Within 2 h of thimerosal exposure (5 microM) to the human neuroblastoma cell line, SK-N-SH, morphological changes, including membrane alterations and cell shrinkage, were observed. Cell viability, assessed by measurement of lactate dehydrogenase (LDH) activity in the medium, as well as the 3-[4,5-dimethylthiazol-2-yl]-2,5-diphenyltetrazolium bromide (MTT) assay, showed a time- and concentration-dependent decrease in cell survival upon thimerosal exposure. In cells treated for 24 h with thimerosal, fluorescence microscopy indicated cells undergoing both apoptosis and oncosis/necrosis. To identify the apoptotic pathway associated with thimerosal-mediated cell death, we first evaluated the mitochondrial cascade, as both inorganic and organic mercurials have been reported to accumulate in the organelle. Cytochrome c was shown to leak from the mitochondria, followed by caspase 9 cleavage within 8 h of treatment. In addition, poly(ADP-ribose) polymerase (PARP) was cleaved to form a 85 kDa fragment following maximal caspase 3 activation at 24 h. Taken together these findings suggest deleterious effects on the cytoarchitecture by thimerosal and initiation of mitochondrial-mediated apoptosis.

And mercury leads to heart disease:

Mercury Activates Vascular Endothelial Cell Phospholipase D through Thiols and Oxidative Stress

Thomas J. Hagele, Jessica N. Mazerik, Anita Gregory, Bruce Kaufman, Ulysses Magalang, M. Lakshmi Kuppusamy, Clay B. Marsh, Periannan Kuppusamy, Narasimham L. Parinandi,

Lipidomics and Lipid Signaling Laboratory, Division of Pulmonary, Critical Care, and Sleep Medicine, Department of Internal Medicine, The Ohio State University College of Medicine, Columbus, Ohio, United States

Correspondence: Address correspondence to Narasimham L. Parinandi, PhD, Room 611-A, Division of Pulmonary, Critical Care, and Sleep Medicine, Dorothy M. Davis Heart and Lung Research Institute, The Ohio State University, 473 W. 12th Avenue, Columbus, OH 43210, USA. E-mail:narasimham.parinandi@osumc.edu

Currently, mercury has been identified as a risk factor of cardiovascular diseases among humans. Here, the authors tested the hypothesis that mercury modulates the activity of the endothelial lipid signaling enzyme, phospholipase D (PLD), which is an important player in the endothelial cell (EC) barrier functions. Monolayers of bovine pulmonary artery ECs (BPAECs) in culture, following labeling of membrane phospholipids with [32P]orthophosphate, were exposed to mercuric chloride (inorganic form), methylmercury chloride (environmental form), and thimerosal (pharmaceutical form), and the formation of phosphatidylbutanol as an index of PLD activity was determined by thin-layer chromatography and liquid scintillation counting. All three forms of mercury significantly activated PLD in BPAECs in a dose-dependent (0 to 50 µM) and time-dependent (0 to 60 min) fashion. Metal chelators significantly attenuated mercury-induced PLD activation, suggesting that cellular mercury-ligand interaction(s) is required for the enzyme activation and that chelators are suitable blockers for mercury-induced PLD activation. Sulfhydryl (thiol-protective) agents and antioxidants also significantly attenuated the mercury-induced PLD activation in BPAECs. Enhanced reactive oxygen species generation, as an index of oxidative stress, was observed in BPAECs treated with methylmercury that was attenuated by antioxidants. All the three different forms of mercury significantly induced the decrease of levels of total cellular thiols. For the first time, this study revealed that mercury induced the activation of PLD in the vascular ECs wherein cellular thiols and oxidative stress acted as signal mediators for the enzyme activation. The results underscore the importance of PLD signaling in mercury-induced endothelial dysfunctions ultimately leading to cardiovascular diseases.

(More studies on the damage that vaccination and their components are known to do)


CDC reports that approximately 100 children die of the flu every year.

It was reported by the panel that 40-50 children die of flu per year, and that the 86 that have died from H1N1 this far had vastly exceeded that number. I told the panel that my understanding was that the number was 100 per year, and that we had not yet exceeded that. I had gotten that number from this CDC video that was posted a year ago on their You Tube Channel (50 seconds in Dr. Jeanne Santoli states that about 100 children die of influenza every year).




They have either doubled the real number, or cut it in half, presumably to encourage vaccination.

So my question is... was CDC inflating the number of children who die per year from the flu last year to scare parents into getting the seasonal flu vaccine OR are they deflating number of children who die per year from the flu this year to scare parents into getting the H1N1 vaccine?

[Update: CDC has reported that pediatric flu deaths have ranged between 46 and 153 over the last six years. CDC has apparently chosen the lowest year of pediatric flu deaths to use as their "average" to make this years flu deaths seem like they are twice the 'average'.

How many children have died from flu-associated complications during previous flu seasons?

* During the 2003-04 season, 153 flu-associated deaths in children were reported to CDC. (This data was collected by CDC.)
* During the 2004-05 season, 47 deaths in children were reported to CDC. (This is the first year that influenza mortality in children became a nationally reportable condition.)
* During the 2005-06 season, 46 deaths in children were reported to CDC.
* During the 2006-07 season, 76 deaths in children were reported to CDC.
* As of June 14, 2008, 83 deaths in children occurring during the 2007-08 season have been reported to CDC.

(Note: The counts above are of flu-associated deaths among children according to the flu season the deaths occur, not when they are reported to CDC.)

So pediatric deaths over the last 5 years average 81.

In Maine, no children have died from the flu this year, despite the fact that it has been one of top three states where the virus first became widespread.

It should also be noted that CDC is currently stonewalling a CBS News request for accurate H1N1 flu numbers. Additionally, CDC turned down a request to expidite CBS's FOIA request for the information on state H1N1 numbers because CDC has determined the request is “not a matter of widespread and exceptional media and public interest.”

Read that again... accurate numbers on H1N1 are “not a matter of widespread and exceptional media and public interest.”]


Thimerosal Containing Vaccines are legally classified as Hazardous Materials

Because of the mercury content in these vaccines, they cannot be thrown away, or even disposed of according to medical waste guidelines. To do so would be illegal.

They must be disposed of according to HazMat rules. From the Wisconsin guidelines:

Some vaccines are preserved with 1:10,000 or 0.01 percent Thimerosal (see the vaccines in the table titled "Thimerosal Content in Some U.S. Licensed Vaccines" at www.vaccinesafety.edu/thi-table.htm that have .01% in the Thimerosal Concentration column). Thimerosal contains about 50 percent mercury by weight. Vaccines with 1:10,000 or 0.01 percent Thimerosal have about 50 mg/L mercury, which exceeds the 0.2 mg/L hazardous waste toxicity characteristic regulatory level for mercury. According to state and federal hazardous waste management requirements, discarded Thimerosal-preserved vaccines may need to be managed as hazardous waste, using the waste code D009 (mercury).

It is illegal to manage Thimerosal-preserved vaccines as infectious waste or regular trash.

A (just in case) correction on my statement on mercury concentrations in vaccines. I may have said "parts per million" when I meant "parts per billion", but I can't remember.

None the less, the mercury concentration in the H1N1 and seasonal flu shots is exponentially larger than what is considered hazmat material. A comparison of mercury concentrations from Pediatrics:

0.5 parts per billion (ppb) mercury = Kills human neuroblastoma cells (Parran et al., Toxicol Sci 2005; 86: 132-140).

2 ppb mercury = U.S. EPA limit for drinking water http://www.epa.gov/safewater/contaminants/index.html#mcls

20 ppb mercury = Neurite membrane structure destroyed (Leong et al., Neuroreport 2001; 12: 733-37).

200 ppb mercury = level in liquid the EPA classifies as hazardous waste. http://www.epa.gov/epaoswer/hazwaste/mercury/regs.htm#hazwaste

25,000 ppb mercury = Concentration of mercury in the Hepatitis B vaccine, administered at birth in the U.S., from 1990-2001.

50,000 ppb Mercury = Concentration of mercury in multi-dose DTaP and Haemophilus B vaccine vials, administered 4 times each in the 1990's to children at 2, 4, 6, 12 and 18 months of age. Current "preservative" level mercury in multi-dose flu (94% of supply), meningococcal and tetanus (7 and older) vaccines. This can be confirmed by simply analyzing the multi- dose vials.

In my home state of Maine mercury disposal is regulated by The Hazardous Waste Rules Chapter 850

Maine Department of Environmental Protection

Chapter 850: IDENTIFICATION OF HAZARDOUS WASTES

B. Identification of hazardous wastes by characteristics

(5) Characteristic of toxicity

(b) A waste that exhibits the characteristic of toxicity has the EPA Hazardous Waste Number specified in Table I which corresponds to the toxic contaminant causing it to be hazardous.

Table I. Maximum Concentration of Contaminants for the Toxicity Characteristic

EPA Hazardous Waste No.: D009

Contaminant: Mercury

Regulatory Level (mg/L): 0.2 mg/L [0.2002 ppm] [200.2 ppb]

What this means is that if you took one of the vaccines being injected into the children at my son's elementary school outside and squirted it onto the pavement, a hazmat rules would be triggered and a hasmat team must be called in to clean it up.


EPA says you must weigh 550 lbs. to safely process the mercury in a flu vaccine

Thimerosal containing flu shots have 25 mcg of mercury in them.

EPA daily limits on mercury intake are .1 mcg per kilogram of weight. 1 kilo = 2.20462262 pounds My 55 pound 7 year old therefore weighs 25 kelograms.

25 x .1 = 2.5

The EPA says that my son should receive no more than 2.5 mcg of mercury in a day. The vaccine he will be offered at school contains ten times that amount.

I weigh 255 lbs or 116 kelos. 116 x .1 = 11.6

The vaccine is still more than twice what a big girl like me should be exposed to.

Further these EPA standards are based on ingested methyl mercury, the kind found in fish, (only about a tenth of which is absorbed through the GI tract into the blood stream). We have already seen from the Burbacher study above, that injected thimerosal becomes trapped in the brain at a much higher rate than ingested mercury. So the EPA standards I am using are probably should be upped by ten fold when being applied to vaccination.

EPA/FDA/CDC will not set safety limits for injected methyl mercury, despite the demand from parents for them to do so for many years.

No one has died from mercury

One of the panelists, a physician, suggested that no one has died from mercury in vaccines. This is a disingenuous statement as vaccine deaths are attributed to the vaccine as a whole, not to the components of the vaccine. And of course Death is a known outcome of vaccination and is covered under the HHS Vaccine Injury Compensation Program.

And yes... people have died from mercury.

Government agencies and states are trying to eliminate mercury in daily life, but it is still in vaccines.


Bills and laws limiting and eliminating mercury are ubiquitous now. It is the height of cognitive dissonance to say that mercury should be eliminated from the environment, but injected into babies as young as 6 months.

And all this is true BEFORE you even begin the discussion on whether or not mercury containing vaccines can cause autism. CDC has done only ONE study of the relationship between vaccines and autism. A HORRIBLE study. It took a very fat bestseller to explain just how many shenanigans went into this study. Julie Gerberding was finally forced to tell congress that the study methods were "useless" in answering the question, 'does mercury in vaccines cause autism', and she did it the cowards way... a quiet report that was leaked to a reporter a few months later. No formal retraction or apology has been issued and the study is still touted as proof that vaccines don't cause autism. Note that this paragraph is the first time the word "autism" is even appears in this piece. And the last.

Now consider the statements like this that CDC are making:

Dr. Anne Schuchat appearing on The Doctors - "Now the other questions people have...and.. .I get this all the time...is about mercury. It's about the Thimerosal preservative. I want to say there have been a lot of studies about that. There's no scientific link between the thimerosal preservative and any kind of long term problem".

CDC is lying about the safety of thimerosal. Don't trust them, don't trust me. Do your own research and fact check everyone. It is your health and the health of your family.


There is a saying in our community....

Giving Mercury to Children on Purpose is Stupid

October 25, 2009

Child Vaccinated at School Against Parents Wishes

That didn't take long.